Over the Hill

Hell’s Door #3
A man died and went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity.
The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn’t even breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on.
The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn’t want that room, and they moved on.
The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The only thing was that they were standing around in about two feet of poop. The man looked for a while and then told the devil this room would be all right.
The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, sipped his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, “Break time is over! Back on your heads!”

Morris left the cold climate of Edgware and went on holiday to Florida. His wife Becky, who was in a Bridge competition, was planning to join him in Florida the next day.
When Morris reached his hotel, he decided to send Becky a quick email to say he’d arrived and all was well. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written the email address she had given him, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his email was directed instead to an elderly woman whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving woman checked her email, she took one look at the screen, let out a piercing scream, fainted and fell to the floor with a thud. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this email on the screen:
“Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband
P.S. Sure is hot down here.�.

Of fame and fortune, the man of your dreams, the dream house, the dream job…We all have those dreams, or had them at some point.
When do dreams become reality and when is it safe to stop ‘dreaming’ if they don’t? My dreams were always quite simple, I wanted a big house, lots of children and a husband who adores me. So far, so good. Ok, the money could be better, but as for the rest, I’m very happy, lucky and blessed to have had my dreams come true.
Living in the NOW, not caring who what why when or how, is a great way to go through life. It just seems to me that it’s a lazy way to not take control of your destiny. Personally, I’m more of a planner, instigator and go-getter that a back bench type of person who let’s things happen, but I do admire those people that can take a back seat and just ‘let it happen’, and if it doesn’t, ‘it’s not meant to be’.
Setting realisitic goals and achieving them is another growing part in life. You naturally grow through experience, bad or good, and the more experience you get, the better. It all depends what you do with the experience after that, that determines how you grow and how it shapes you for the future. With all of this reality going on we all need the space and time to dream. It’s a healthy way of seeing ourselves in a different light and gives us the aspiration to become that what we see. Without dreams there wouldn’t be reality.

Dr. Minky, a psychiatrist and Dr. Lau, a proctologist, open a medical practice in Hendon. But they have great difficulty in getting the local council to agree to the wording on the sign they want to put up outside their office. These are the signs they try, but which are not accepted by the council. “Hysterias and Posteriors” “Schizoids and Haemorrhoids” “Catatonics and High Colonics” “Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives” “Minds and Behinds” “Lost Souls and Butt Holes” “Analysis and Anal Cysts” “Nuts and Butts” “Freaks and Cheeks” “Loons and Moons” Almost at their wit’s end, the doctors finally come up with a sign which the council approves. It reads, “Dr. Minky and Dr. Lau, Odds and Ends.”

I hate the COLD!
Literally, figuratively, in all senses of the term cold. The weather has just turned it’s back on me and gone from spring to deep winter, I have a horrible cold that just will just not go away, and I’m seriously sick of being sick. It’s been almost two months now, and I’m beginning to feel old and broken down. I’m coughing constantly, my voice sounds like a broken muffler and at best a squeeky radiator. I’ve put the humidifier on, I’ve taken cough sirops, and have managed to keep my fevers pretty much in check. It just wasn’t going away. So, I went to the doctor and told him to prescribe me an antibiotic. He was quite startled to see me in the same state that he had last seen me in two months ago, and wrote the prescription right away.
I had then realised that it’s been 10 years since I last took an antibiotic. That’s a pretty good record I think. Geuss I’m just going to have to get over this ‘cold’ hill, with the help of an antibiotic. Besides, I don’t mind taking antibiotics as long as it’s only once every ten years! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those ‘absolutely everything must be natural’ freaks. No, not at all, but if I can avoid a lot of meds, I will. In the long run, your body becomes stronger, and the medications that you do take will work very well because your body doesn’t get them on a regular basis.

I’ve noticed that when it’s your body that breaks down, if you are strong in spirit (like getting angry with it, and not moaning about it) you can ‘autopilot your way to repair’. When your mind breaks down, it’s more than likely your body will follow. When the two happen simultaneously, you’re up shit’s creek, and you need help to find the paddle to get your self out of shit. I’ve experienced all three of the above. Sometimes I wasn’t strong in spirit and just wanted to give up. In the end, I’m very happy that I’m a stubborn, willful person who just doesn’t accept halfway. It got me angry enough to stand up and fight again, and again and again. Life is challenging!

Remember that song, Love and Marriage, “go together like a horse and carriage”..(lalalalalalalalalal, can’t remember the words!) “you can’t have one without the other”. Do not associate this with the sitcom! Nothing to do with it, just bear with me.
So, now, I’m wondering which one am I? The horse pulling the carriage or the one sitting in it? But let’s begin with the fun stuff first!
This image is quite funny because my husband and I really did get married at Niagara Falls! Romantic, sweet, and absolutely unforgetable. In all senses of the term unforgetable.

The ceremony made me speachless, (if you can believe that,) and it was really all done very unexpectedly!

We signed in at the city hall a week before, my brother’s girlfriend needed a birth certificate for their daughter, and I said we needed something too, (a marriage license) and so we had the license, both signed it, and kept it.

One nice sunny day, about a week later, we decided to go to Niagara Falls. Not for that, (marrriage) but just to see the sights. I know them, but my ‘then future’ husband to be did not. So, after having to wait for my brother (he always wakes up late) we were off!

Adam, (my son from a previous marriage), my brother and us. We’re off.

We’ve arrived, and seen the sights, and are about to go and get some lunch. I suggest the big turning building where you can see everything. In the meantime, I asked my soon to be husband, would you like this to happen today? It was then 12:30.
Sure he says, so I looked in the phone book found a little chapel and made an appointment at 3:30 that same afternoon. It was the 23 of December. After lunch, we took our two witnesses in to the little white chapel, and got married. It was a very beautiful ceremony, and I still look at the transcript from time to time, just to remember that love can work, it can be spontaneous and can endure all things.

There’s left, there’s right, and then there’s something in between.

It’s the something in between I don’t like. No, I really hate. Either you say yes, or no. I understand that this can seem quite extreme, but I’d really appreciate it if people would say exactly what they mean, and really mean it. No matter what it is they have to say.

When you say that you love someone, REALLY mean what you say. Not just words, actions! Not “yes, I love you but I can’t afford to spend time with you now”. Go the extra mile in everything you do. Don’t just be something in between.

Putting meaning in your life is literally like that (my humble opinion). Mean what you say and say what you mean. But to do that be honest with yourself first.

Putting meaning in your life, if you think your life needs more of it, well look inside yourself, first, there’s hidden treasures inside you. Start with that, and never settle for something in between. For example, Love yourself enough to kick start your butt out of bed, gives meaning to your life. You can now say, yes..I did it..even though I didn’t want to and there’s absolutely no point in getting up. (Even though you have all the excuses, and more than likely valid ones, don’t sit in between.)

Everyone gets really tired. (I know, I had to kick myself out of bed!) I will not settle for something in between for my children, nor for my family. I will go the extra mile, and find a way to enjoy it in the process.

Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic?
Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on final exams like: “Why do airplanes fly?”
In May a few years ago, the “Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer ” exam paper contained the question:
“Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof.”
Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than
one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to
Hell. With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
[Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell willincrease until all Hell breaks loose.
[Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure
will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by Teresa Banyan during freshman year) that “it’ll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you”, and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be correct;
…… thus, Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.

Simply a smile, can often work miracles. I know it makes going through life easier (makes us feel good and the other person too) and it prevents nasty wrinkles! If you smile at a person, they will find it very difficult to be mean. I’ve been in some pretty sticky situations, and no, I’m not saying that 100% of the time you can just get out of it like that, but if you can smile about it, then it makes the feelings you’re having about the situation a lot less harder or more pleasurable on you and the other.

Simple sentences,
(my personal favorite is ‘I think your very special’)
Whether good or bad, but get straight to the point.
I love the simplicity children have about them. If they don’t like something, it’s simply YUK, I don’t like it.

Simple questions.
Now that’s a favorite of mine! Asking, regardless of who it is, a simple question can get quite tricky sometimes.I love it when someone is straight forward with me(that’s why this particular simplicity is a favorite of mine)
No tricks, just a simple basic down to earth question of what you exactly want to know.

The simple things in life are available to all of us regardless of where we come from or who we are.

Making yourself happy, no matter what it is, can be very simple.
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Who doesn’t want to just simplify things? Get a simple answer, to a simple question (instead of having to look up the by-laws and read the fine print at the very bottom of the very last page) to simply be happy and just go through life with a smile even in the worst moments. It’s simple.
Think of Simplicity. It’d be great if a city like that existed too, but for now, let’s just try simplicity within our own lives.